SKIMMING VS. PLANTING

When John and I were first married, we had dear friends that taught us a very valuable life lesson.

Plant deep roots.

They taught us that wherever we are, whatever we’re doing—dig deep, do the hard work, and build relationships. Life will be richer and far more meaningful for not having skimmed the surface.

Here’s what I think. Skimming is just smiling and waving. Planting is looking someone in the eye and asking the hard questions. Skimming is talking. Planting is listening. Skimming is scratching at the surface. Planting is having people in your home for dinner. Skimming is pat answers. Planting is sharing the burden. Skimming is quick judgements. Planting is understanding and grace. Skimming is stagnant. Planting is growth.

Skimming is the natural tendency. It’s the easy way out. And, I have to confess that there are many times when I feel the urge to skim. To listen and nod, but not really hear. To turn inward and think about myself instead of looking around me and getting involved in the lives and stories of others.

Planting deep roots is full of risk and has powerful implications.

You might get hurt. You might get left behind. Your faults, and cracks, and things you try to cover up could be exposed.

But you might also be changed for the better. Learn how to share life with others. Be inspired to be who God wants you to be.

Laugh harder.

Love deeper.

Dream bigger.

Some days I have to remind myself that it’s worth it. That it’s worth the hard work of knowing and being known. Some days I fumble my way through—looking for signs of life and understanding over a cup of coffee with a new friend. Some days I want to give up and go back to skimming.

Planting deep roots takes time. And I have to be willing to put the time in. I have to be present and open to what God wants to teach me each day. It means nurturing relationships and letting people in.

This quote is from one of our favorite books. John and I read it together on Friday mornings over bagels and cream cheese and Nantucket Nectars at a special breakfast spot in New Hampshire. The words in the pages of this book have shaped us in big ways.

“When a tree puts roots into the ground, those roots are able to take in nutrients and water, and the tree grows and has life and strength—but only if it is rooted. In the same way, we are rooted and our souls are nourished in the love of God and other people. We experience this both physically and emotionally when we connect with somebody.”

— John Ortberg (The Me I Want to Be)

It is worth the investment. I know it. I’ve experienced it. I’m grateful for it. I think it’s really the only way to live. The end result is life-giving—producing friendship, and community, and joy that transcends geography and time.